Friday, August 31, 2012

Writing 101

I can't stand reading things that aren't true...

Or things that lack personality… I can’t read

Things that are entirely positive or entirely negative.

I like balance.

Good spelling and grammar won't make you great, paint me a story,

One that imitates life.

If you want to write well, you must:

Be honest.

Be compassionate to all characters.

Most importantly, SHOW DON’T TELL.

Give examples.

If you say you feel like crap tell me exactly why. Tell me about the sweat created by your beard; describe the stickiness of your neck, the dry boogers on your nostrils.

Let us in. Filtered writing is worthless.

Be quick. Unless you’re Whitman, Shakespeare, Milton or H. James, no one is going to want to read your sentence fragments… no matter how clever you think your punch lines are.
Oh, let me not forget, to make sure and end everything with a positive note… DON’T DO IT. Be real. We live on Earth not Disney.  

Sustain credibility; no, create it.

You're welcome, your genuine Friend. :)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Need for Control

How do I let these people in? These fools open up and give everyone a VIP pass to their emotions. I can’t do that. The need for control runs through the bloodstream of my father and I’m a replica. Every time he says, "mijito, maneja con las dos manos," or when he asks for my paycheck so he can have full control of what I do with the money that I worked my ass off for. He's so damn paranoid about tomorrow and I don't want to be like that. Each day has enough trouble of its own so why stess about today and tomorrow? Why don't we just give it all up? There's a fineline between being responsible and being uptight. They say that the will a man lives on in his son but I don't care much about his will rather His will because it's only a matter of time before time becomes constant and the will of man is meaningless.
how did i let this happen?
my poor little abandoned child.

I will be writing under pressure for the next couple of months.

Friday, August 24, 2012

get it started

People suck. People suck.

I want this semester to start. I found out that I have been fully funded for the 2012-2013 academic year (my senior year) and I've been extremely happy. Then I found out I only need 13 more credit hours to graduate so this Fall semester may very well be my last at UTPA.

I want this semester to start so I can get out of here. I'm tired of sniffing the same people. I want to get out there and live. I want to see everything God created.

I feel tied down.

I want to go outside and sit on dead grass; stare at the moon gently leave my sight while the sun blasts itself upon the eastern sky.

If I could just see the world through His eyes... to see your worth... my worth.

I'm upset at many things but Friday will be a productive day.

Fall semester is going to kick ass.

Damn you, doubt. Damn you, insecurities.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Fall Materials

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    English 4319 South Texas Literature with R. Johnson
  • TITLE:Dew of the Thorn
  • AUTHOR:Gonzalez
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  • TITLE:George Washington Gomez
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  • TITLE:Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza
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  • AUTHOR:Rice
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English 4336 Advanced Creative Writing Fiction with Emmy Perez

  • TITLE:Drown
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English 4340 Special Topics Creative Writing with Jean Braithwaite

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  • TITLE:9/11 Report: Graphic Adaptation
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  • TITLE:I Never Liked You
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  • AUTHOR:Weaver
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English 4320 Topics in Border Studies with Marci McMahon

  • TITLE:Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza
  • AUTHOR:Anzaldua
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  • TITLE:Operation Gatekeeper & Beyond
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  • TITLE:Last Frontier?
  • AUTHOR:Juffer
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English 3398 Contemporary American Fiction with Eric M. Williamson


that's why he's awesome!

English 3312 Survey of American Literature with M. Reed\

  • TITLE:Anthology of American Literature (V1)
  • AUTHOR:McMichael
  • EDITION:10th
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Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Lord is My Light and My Salvation

Our joy is in Jesus.

There is no way the world can take that away from us.

Jesus is forever.

Joy forever.

Psalm 27

1 Peter 1

Thursday, August 16, 2012

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." -Jesus

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Save yourself

I only help those who want to be helped.

I only give to those who need.
I hate that.

No one walks all over me... that's the only reason why I'm pissed about the thief that stole my laptop... I'd give out my morning muffin to be present during the robbery; man, it would have been an epic brawl. I was raised to take care of my stuff and second, opening my door and coming into my car is invading my space. I hate bubble intrusions.

I expect my family to be like me.

I expect them to learn.

But they don't.

At times, I think their vulnerability and forgiving nature is so admirable but right now... being vulnerable and forgetting the past seems like a stupid move on their part.

I justify my thinking because I constantly see them getting angry
constantly being used.
constantly hurting.
I hate seeing them be repeatedly hurt, angry and hurt...

It is almost like they lack the ability to reason.

Where the heck is your good God given common-sense?

If a dog runs a cat out of the dog's property, the cat is not going to visit the dog.

Why is everyone always visiting the damn dog?

Save yourself some hurt.

Live and learn.

I'm proud of being guarded; so proud, I'm douchely self-righteous of being alone and stern.

"Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away."

Friday, August 10, 2012

Finger wave

I'm coming to you via my old Toshiba monster laptop with an attached monitor, keypad and mouse.
Dang. This thing is loud and a little slow.

Superficial. My dog is so content.
He adores anything I get for him.

From the red collar that has tripled it's orginal size since he's always scratching to the Purina snacks he loves.

Life lessons from a dog, eh?

As I walked to my sister's car she said, "ask him! maybe he saw something!"

"I'm gonna feel like an ass," I said, "he's homeless and I'm going to ask him if... no. He wasn't even there."

On Thursday at around 6:20 - 6:45 my black leather messenger bag my mom bought me was taken from my car at either Wal-Mart or Staples.

Inside this messenger bag was my 11 month old MacBook Pro, light up pens, highlighters, markers, but most importantly: my logic book, my weekend to-do list, study guides for all my exams... man, let's just say that anything I wrote down/was handed to this semester was in there.


I have an essay due at 12:45 and my venn diagrams were in there.

So many things I have to say.

It upsets me that just when I found my laptop useful, it gets taken. My sister, Glenda, and I have been watching Netflix on it for the past weeks...

If only I would have stopped my car and followed her home when we passed each other on Canton road.

If only...
If only...
If only...

I need to let this go.

Move on.

Sure, it happened six hours ago...

But it is finals week.

I want to thank my friend Jocelyn for studying with me.
For letting me use her book.
For making me laugh when she spilled coffee on herself when she was showing me how "Bear" drinks his coffee.

I want to thank my sister for making the police report with me.
For not being mad at me.
For texting me, "We can watch Netflix on my computer."

For the first time, in the midst of only thinking about my precious book and notes, I understood Truth Tables!

Today was a good day.

Because I learned.
I should probably go to bed now. I have an essay to write in the morning.

Goodnight beloved reader.

Matt 6:20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Dislocated Experience

"DISLOCATED is an interactive online serialized novel following one isolated man on the afternoon he awakens - plagued with insomnia and a very bad hangover - in the quiet hometown where he was raised. After being arrested for an unknown crime but never convicted, his intentions were to lay low, move home, and win back the girl he loves. But he's far more alone than he's aware. This is what happens when he realizes it's a bit too quiet today, and as his paranoia builds, he begins to suspect there is something insidious lurking within the silence outside."

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

I Am Mexican.

Don't deny someone their identity. 

Sure, I am many other things than just a Mexican American who is speech dyslexic when speaking spanish, but I love my culture - my race.

I am a part-time employee at Things Remembered at the Plaza Mall. As I worked this past weekend, a lady asked my manager and I if we sold something (In Spanish) and I squinted my eyes and came closer to her booming voice.

She repeated her question but I... just didn't know what the word was... it was something for Groomsmen... and as I stood back up straight, an older lady who was behind her, possibly her mother, sucked her teeth and said, "VAMONOS, no entienden estos pinches..."

That bothered me and I quickly said, "perdon, hablo espanol, pero no se a que articulo se refiera."

Bothered because so often do I stick up for my people, whether, it is speaking up against one of my managers that claims that most shoppers that come from Mexico are rude, to the pregnant girl I saw getting deported from the Mission Hospital.

I suffer with my beloved Mexico...

there is so much injustice towards my race...

so much blame...

"No one wants them here."

"They are free loading off our government... exploiting it."

Well, actually, no.

The people exploiting our government are the people you gave the opportunity to.

I want:

Equal Rights.

Equal Freedom.

Equal Opportunity.

For everyone. Not just my people. 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Fox & the Hounds

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
"Full atonement!" can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Monday, August 6, 2012


Ephesians 4: 26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.

I've been angry at my family this past week... my brother made a guest appearance when I was studying for my John Milton class.

My brother = bad news.

I made that assumption based on the past... like Dr. Jones said, "If the sun has always risen East," then my assumption was legitimately cogent.

This time, though, he somehow made contact with his sons mom and managed to bring my nephew over.... along with his mother, his brother, his brother... and well... his four brothers.

My mother... was so easily pleased.

But I was mad.

Because I've seen how my family has been there for them...
and I've seen their ungratefulness....
I have seen how they take advantage of my mom
and there is nothing that gets me angrier than that...

They don't see my mom's tears when they abduct my nephew.
They don't wake up to my mom's loud cries.
They don't walk in to her room and find her on her knees, praying.

Not my brother. Not my nephews mom.

So you know what, I am pissed because everyone has forgotten and everyone has forgiven but me. Seeing my nephew's scar on his head because his little brother threw a knife at him doesn't help.

James 1: 20 For human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.

Jesus, I am sorry. I need your help. I need your healing. I need your comfort, your peace. I need to trust that you have my family in your hands, God, and not in mine that are stained with blood. Teach me how to trust You.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Friday, August 3, 2012

"Love dares you to care for the peo­ple on the edge of the night and love dares you to change our way of car­ing about our­selves." 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Contemporary America

Why doesn't anyone like to read essays? 

I'm not going to lie, they're a tad boring.

But... I believe that one of the biggest reasons why people don't like reading them is because the pace of an essay is meant to be slow. Essays are strong and (generally) short with hard hitting, in your face sentences. 

In contemporary fiction you have easy & readable pages with a climax ever so often. 
In Essays, you get punch lines left and right. 

An old professor once told me that real fiction... strong, great fiction is meant to be read like an Essay because there are punch lines everywhere.

Have you ever tried reading Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground like you would read anything else?
How about Henry James's The Turn of the Screw or The Aspen Papers?


It is all the same. Read it and you won't understand anything until you have a close reading. 

Essays and Fiction are a lot like Poetry.

A last reason why we don't like reading essays is because we are actually using our brains. Essays force us to learn... to think. Did you know that the average reading level of an American is that of an Eighth Grader!

So how difficult do you think New York Time's Best-Selling Authors are going to write the books we read?

Let's. Break it. Down.

They are going to cater to the majority.


THIS STOPS NOW. I am not going to support Dumb Contemporary American Literature.

motive change

Today, I took my third terms test for the Milton class... I passed... hands down.

Now I have about 14 hours to write a 5 page paper on some one of the exams... and include every term in my essay. -________- and get additional outside sources. 

So I am going to do that and skip Logic class because I haven't read anything and I can't sit through a lecture feeling stupid. 

I prayed over my Logic class... 

I realized that I need to change... I need to find something in this class that is worth my time because getting good grades for my GPA to go up isn't a good enough reason for me to continue this fight. 

Neither is graduating.
Neither is avoiding College Algebra. 

Well then what would a good reason be? 

In my Milton class, we talked about John Milton's Paradise Regained. What I liked about it was that we were now talking about John Milton's work and not the boring... old... dead author... and talking about JESUS!? It's great! We talked about Jesus being tempted by Satan... telling him to turn the rock into bread and Jesus said there wasn't a good enough reason for him to do so. He said that making bread because someone is hungry would be a good reason. 

Today I drove around with one of my writing pals and I told her how I think Logic would help me... will help my faith... how it will benefit me because I would be adding an extra arsenal for identifying holes in peoples arguments on faith.

That is exactly what I am going to focus on. 

Logic is now 100% about Jesus. Not about me. Not about my selfish A. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


It's August 1st! Almost done with summer school! I'm excited for FALL semester because taking this Logic class has made me appreciate English.

Dear Logic,

You're a nightmare.

I was a few points away from getting an A on the first exam... but Exam two was tough.

Saying that I wanted to cry does not have an ounce of exaggeration... I stopped about thirty minutes in and went to the restroom because the exam was so damn repetitive... repetitive and using terms that I wasn't familiar with.

There I was... in the only stall with dry urine... trying to think of anything but YOU.

I went back and I completed the stupid test that covered Aristotle's Venn Diagram Theory...

I'm thinking of how useless it was because I've peeked at the following chapters and the Venn is nowhere.

Your Archenemies,

I'll be back this weekend or possibly next week... I have an exam on Milton tomorrow and an Essay due Friday. That and I have to read chapter 7 & 8 before Logic class on Friday.