Confidence

all i ever do is think.
i over think and over analyze.
is everyone like that.

or is it just me.

is it an issue.

it feels like one, or at least it has for the past hour or so, because my analytical brain becomes overwhelmed when a lot of things are happening. i lose myself. my personality becomes blank and boring in hectic environments.

maybe this is a unique condition.

if i lived in old testament times i think i would be called to go out and live in the desert. i constantly feel like i lose a sense of who i am. i don't like feeling like that - lost. i feel like a boy going through puberty. i've talked about wanting to be older and wiser just to know who i am, and stop rambling and be certain of who i am. to actually have meaningful words to write. i think that is a characteristic of older folk. i've never read anything by an older writer pathetically trying to figure out who they are. i think the best writing and art come from old people.


fake it till you make it... yes! that's what i was going to scribble about today.

WOMBOLOGY... The study of WOMBO! It's first grade, SpongeBob.

I've been thinking about how hard Christian's are on themselves... I think a lot of Christian's don't get affirming words like, "good job" or,  "keep it up."  I think it's a real humbling thing that goes around some Christian communities but I think that if they (or WE) did build up a little more confidence.. and knew how useful they are... the world would be a lot different.

I think it's import to remember what every children's book tells us, that through Christ, we are the hope and the light of this world.

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

I finished listening to the John Piper CD. I liked that he said that American's always ask, "Are my children safe?" when we should be in the darkest of places shining truth. Man, I needa' wake up and stop complaining about not being able to read comfortably because my parents come in to ask a favor. Instead, I need to be grateful that it aint' someone putting a gun to my head for reading my bible. 

The Truth Project film I saw Friday night at Destino was also about American perceptions. In High School, I had the biggest pessimist Government teacher. He had absolutely no hope for America, or so he said... that and taking the other U.S. History classes where we are taught about fighting savages and being an "overbearing" country made me not give two cents about my country. However, the video taught about the founding fathers, the constitution and how it all was clear about making anyone who had power know they are in no shape bigger than God...